Showing posts with label BLOG. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BLOG. Show all posts

May 1, 2022

Huru Hara Hari Raya

Siapa sangka tarikh Aidilfitri bagi tahun 2022 dalam kalendar kuda tu dah terlari daripada kiraan baru falak. Setelah dipertikaikan oleh golongan netizen di Malaysia selama beberapa hari, kini tibalah masanya tarikh Hari Raya Aidilfitri bagi tahun 2022 (1443 Hijrah) diumumkan jatuh pada hari Isnin 2 Mei 2022. Maka kelam-kabutlah warga negara pada malam ini sebab esoh dah raya...

Ada yang baru nak balik kampung. Ada yang baru nak menggosok baju raya. Ada yang tak sempat pun nak beli baju raya. Yang masih tersangkut dalam jem dalam perjalanan balik kampung pun ada, lagi kesian.

Tapi ini barulah debaran raya kan? Penat tapi seronok. Yang penting 1 Syawal disambut dengan penuh kegembiraan... terutama sekali setelah 2 tahun kita tidak menyambut raya dengan meriah bersama keluarga disebabkan pandemik sejak tahun 2020. Boleh dikatakan bahawa Syawal pada tahun ini membawa seribu satu makna.

Al-Fatihah juga kepada mereka yang telah pergi meninggalkan kita di waktu pandemik lalu.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kepada anda semua.

October 14, 2021

Hong Kong Sabotaj Blog Aku!

Sejak beberapa bulan ni perasan duit dalam Adsense dah lama tak naik. Tiba-tiba terhenti takat RM47 je. Dulu laju je naik mencanak-canak. Bila tengok paparan blog, iklan Adsense hilang. Jenuh cek coding, bersihkan cache dan cookies, unblock Javascript, perbaharui ads.txt untuk munculkan balik iklan... semuanya tak jalan.

Paling pelik, statistik memaparkan trafik yang tiba-tiba dibanjiri oleh views dari Hong Kong... malah berkali-kali ganda lebih ramai daripada trafik Malaysia! Dari mana datangnya viewers ini? Apa yang mereka cari dalam blog picisan Ayuni ini?

Bagai Yakjud dan Makjud menuruni gunung-gunung hingga memenuhi bumi, tiba-tiba trafik blog ini dipenuhi views dari Hong Kong tanpa sebab munasabah

Hari ini cuba troubleshoot Adsense sekali lagi. Keluar pula notifikasi ini dari Google. Katanya blog mempunyai invalid traffic (trafik haram), jadi iklan Adsense telah disekat sehingga pemberitahuan seterusnya.

Terkilan pula rasa sebab pendapatan sampingan dari blogging telah terjejas. Sedih wooo... ada tinggal RM47 je dalam tu.

Hong Kong telah sabotaj blog ini...

Bagaimana nak sabotaj Hong Kong balik?

October 10, 2021

The Most Terrifying Mask For Halloween 2021

Saw this Coronavirus mask being sold on Shopee just now. Of course... what could be more terrifying than the Corona in this century? Perfect for this year's Halloween. I still prefer the Plague Doctor mask over this one though.

September 5, 2021

Jangan Kedekut Dengan Kucing

Kadang-kadang Allah hantar seekor kucing untuk menjadi guru dan menguji kita supaya kita muhasabah. Jika seekor kucing datang meminta makanan, tapi kita halau dia, itu tanda kita kedekut dengan rezeki yang Allah beri pada kita. Kadang-kadang kucing bawa lari seekor ikan kembong yang kita beli di pasar. Anggaplah itu rezeki untuk kucing tu. Tak payahlah kejar kucing tu keliling kampung! Dia bukan ambil semua, seekor saja. Lainlah kalau kucing tu bawa lari peti sejuk. Selalulah kita beri makan pada binatang. Setiap makanan kita beri makan binatang itu dikira sedekah.

February 4, 2021

Abalones And The Story Of White Painted Woman

I found half shell abalones on sale at the nearby hypermarket. They look big. Each shell is sold at RM2.88. I bought a few shells to try out and later realized that I don't know anything about cooking abalones. All this while I have only seen abalones in cans.

Let's not talk about what these abalones actually resemble...

Speaking of abalones, I remember an old Apache tale about the abalone shell. It was said that in the old days, the first woman in the world (who was known as White Painted Woman) had survived a great flood in the shell of an abalone. She married the Sun and the Rain, and gave birth to two sons that destroy monsters to make the earth inhabitable for mankind. White Painted Woman then wandered to east until at the end of her life, she found her younger self. They merged and White Painted Woman was born anew. Thus repeatedly, she is born again and again, from generation to generation.

An artist's visualization of White Painted Woman

January 31, 2021

Capitalism Kills The Cat

My cats have been starving since the J&T Express strike commotion this past few days. I feel sorry for the seller whom I always buy cat food online from. The seller never fails to ship out fast and delivery usually takes within one to two days. However, something happened within J&T Express' postal service administration - the top management started to impose new working conditions on their own courier staff until the staff decided that they had enough and began launching a strike. 

Someone took a photo of an abandoned J&T Express' parcel storage hub in Selangor, which shows piles of undelivered stuff in the premise. People started complaining of non-deliveries. The chain management system has become stuck. For the first time I receive the status "Redelivery attempt as soon as possible" from J&T's delivery tracking system for five times in a row within one week.

But I don't blame the courier staff for the strike. With a ridiculous new policy that squeezes out every sweat and blood from the employee, by cutting off allowances from those who fail to deliver more than 900 parcels per day, no one in their right mind would continue working for a blood-sucking company that goes against fair trade rules and labor laws.

Capitalism in Malaysia is getting out of hand these days. Perhaps there is another rather crude name for it. I know for certain that it is killing my cats. So I am totally done with capitalism and went out to the mall to buy my cats their needed nourishment despite the lockdown. I hope that one day in the future, cats will rule the world and hunt down and eat capitalists like mice.

I sometimes feed my cats kangaroo meat bought from Pet Lovers Centre. Did you know that kangaroo meat contains less than 2% fat, making it a healthier red meat option? It is also high in protein, essential B vitamins, minerals such as zinc, iron and omega 3 fats and omega 6 fatty acids. It's good for humans too... you should try it sometime.

August 7, 2020

FaceApp Is Haram, So I Use It On Non-Living Subjects

FaceApp is a photo-editing application developed in Russia and was launched three years ago (2017). Its aging and gender-swapping features became a trend on social media, with thousands sharing photos of themselves appearing geriatric or as the opposite gender. Perhaps this is due to being bored amidst the Coronavirus lockdown. 

The FaceApp tempts users to see what they look like in a different style, age and gender

Recently, the Federal Territories Mufti office has issued a fatwa (Islamic legal injunction) prohibiting Muslims from using FaceApp. In a statement posted on its website, the Mufti office said altering a photo of one's face using FaceApp and sharing it is prohibited as it is "akin to encouraging the tendency of changing God’s creation even though it is not done through physical means".

This explanation seems to be in line with a statement by Sheikh Muhammad Iqbal Nadvi of the Calgary Mosque in Canada, who said, “Changing one’s sex is a kind of tampering with the creation of Allah (God) and following the way of the Shaitan (Satan) who vowed that he would misguide the sons of Adam in this way and in others, as clarified in the verse: “And surely I will command them and they will change Allah’s creation.” (An-Nisa’: 119)

Loki to Lucy?

Using the app to change the face to make it younger or older could also mislead people from the truth, the office said, adding that people cannot predict what they will look like in the future, as they are not meant to know what the future holds.

In an interview with Al-Hijrah News, a preacher from the University of Islamic Sciences, Nur Muhammad Hadi, mentioned that "changing one's features to the opposite gender is against human nature", and that "spreading the gender-swapped photos on social media is humiliating and degrading", tarnishing one's reputation.

During the interview, Hadi voiced his concerns that children might use this feature and post up the images on social media, attracting pedophiles online. He also fears that this might encourage young boys to change their gender when they see their features as female.

Changing gender in FAceApp is considered as haram in Malaysia

Apparently, yours truly is also guilty of indulging in the gender-swapping fun and have turned many of the edited photos into profile pictures on social media accounts. What is more unfortunate is that I have paid for the subscription a day before the fatwa was issued, and it isn't really cheap. But I agree with the fatwa reasoning that such use of photo-editing may bring risks to one's identity and security so I decided to adhere to the fatwa.

Since it is haram to use Face App on God's creations, I will keep using FaceApp on human's creations until my subscription term ends. Thus, the images of Western statues, paintings and game characters have become target victims to my photo-editing blasphemy...

Wonder what Michelangelo would think about this? 

Who knew that they used to be a happy young couple?

Redhead guy not good-looking enough, so I had him replaced with Mr. Tall Dark & Handsome

March 23, 2020

Bosan Duduk Di Rumah Kerana Covid, Lelaki Ini Buat Sesi Karaoke Atas Balkoni Dengan Jiran

Kini masuk 5 hari perintah kawalan pergerakan berkuatkuasa di Malaysia. Apakah yang anda lakukan untuk menghilangkan rasa bosan di sepanjang perintah kawalan ini?

Bagi seorang lelaki ini, dia telah mengadakan sesi karaoke di balkoni apartmen tempat tinggalnya, dan tidak lama kemudian nyanyiannya diikuti oleh jiran-jiran lain yang tinggal di apartmen sama.

Salah seorang jiran di apartmen tersebut, Shauna Joan, telah merakam aksi ceria lelaki berkenaan menyanyi lagu 'Saya Anak Malaysia' bersama penghuni-penghuni apartmen yang lain. Video rakaman tersebut boleh dilihat di link ini: ShaunaJoan

Lelaki tersebut sempat mengakhiri sesi 'konsert' dengan mengingatkan semua orang supaya #StayAtHome.

February 20, 2020

Yeos Canned Cuttlefish Product Looks Like Something Out Of A Tentacle Horror Movie And Now I Am Scared

I don't know what came over me when I purchased this can of Yeo's cuttlefish in soy sauce. Apart from the clean and fresh shelf-stocked look, the graphic on the label seemed inviting enough for me to chuck the can into my grocery basket despite it being quite pricey (it costs RM5.60 per unit). But hey, I needed something edible to add in my cup of instant ramen.

As soon as I pulled the can lid open, a terrifying sight welcomed me. There, submerged in the clear liquid of light soy sauce, was the most bizarre piece of cuttlefish I have ever seen. Its soft, squishy and fleshy facade suddenly reminded me of those face huggers from the Alien franchise, ever ready to jump onto my face and suck out my eyeballs from their sockets...

To eat or not to eat?

Man, that looks nasty.

That is one giant squid ring. Imagine how big the whole thing must be. Where the heck did they get this cuttlefish from? The Bermuda Triangle?

Look at the size of those suckers. Okay, now I'm scared...

Despite the creepy looking tentacle soaking in it, the soy sauce's smell wasn't so bad - the liquid is light and sweet. In fact, it reminded me of the sugary dried cuttlefish that I used to enjoy eating back when I was staying in Lumut, Perak.

Sigh, I really loved snacking on those - they used real cuttlefish meat, not like the fake ones today that are made of fish meat and taste like toilet paper. I mean, can you imagine buying and eating pressed fish meat disguised as dried cuttlefish? That is exactly like dating a suave dude online who turns out to be a Nigerian scammer.

Back to the squid in hand. So I took a bite of the chubby, fleshy ring and surprisingly found that it was soft and chewy. The taste? Not bad... the meat and soy sauce went well with my instant ramen by adding a subtle umami-like flavour in it. I wonder if it will taste as good if I add it into a bowl of congee?

I take back what I said about the price. RM5.60 is worth it for the gigantic soft cuttlefish meat... and the soy sauce is more than enough. I have had a can of American smoked oysters drenched in oil and water for the price of RM17 and honestly it wasn't as exciting as Yeo's canned cuttlefish in soy sauce.

Heck, I think I'll have no qualms in buying this can of horror tentacles again the next time I drop by the grocery store.

July 8, 2019

Kereta Pun Pakai Maskara...

Macam-macam fesyen hiasan kereta zaman sekarang ni. Sampai maskara pun nak dipakaikan dekat kereta. Eh, menawan pula tengok melentiknya bulu mata - err, lampu depan kereta-kereta ni. Kalah bulu mata kita...

March 24, 2019

Pengalaman Memalukan Makan Di Pulau Ketam Yong Tau Foo

Ayuni tak suka makan yong tau foo tetapi entah macam mana hari ini terlangkah pula ke kedai makan Pulau Ketam Yong Tau Foo yang baru dibuka di Nu Sentral siang tadi. Mula-mula ingat nak beli takoyaki di situ (kalau masih ingat lagi dulu ada kedai takoyaki dan kafe Kampong Kravers sebelah KFC, berhampiran pawagam GSC di tingkat 5). Tengok-tengok kedai takoyaki dan Kampong Kravers dah tak ada dan digantikan dengan Pulau Ketam Yong Tau Foo.

Mama yang merupakan peminat yong tau foo terus kata dia nak cuba makan di situ. Tambahan lagi dia tertarik dengan konsep kedai yong tau foo yang baru tu jadi dia ingin tahu cara servis makanan mereka. Ayuni pun bagi Mama pilih set yang dia mahu sambil Ayuni bayarkan untuk dia di kaunter. Kedai ni amalkan konsep layan diri tetapi makanan akan dihantar oleh staf ke meja kita.

Mama pilih set yang ada 3 keping yong tau foo campur chee cheong fun dengan kuah sos pekat. Mula-mula Ayuni tengok saja Mama makan sendirian. Tapi nampak menarik pula warna cokelat kuah sos yang panas-panas tu. Ayuni pun ambil satu lagi sudu dan cuba rasa sikit sos dari pinggan Mama. Memang sedap! Sos dia rasa berlemak dan tak kuat sangat manis atau masin, sangat sesuai dengan rasa fishcake yang Mama pilih. 

Suasana sekitar tempat makan bersih dan tenang. Servis dia bagus. Sudu, garfu, chopstick dan kicap mudah dicapai. Hidangan panas. Makanan dibubuh daun bawang atasnya. Cuma ada satu benda saja yang Mama tak puas hati...

"Chee cheong fun dia lembik sangatlah... kena bagitahu staf dia ni," kata Mama sambil mengangkat sekeping chee cheong fun yang sudah kembang dan lembik dengan garfu.

Orang tua-tua lebih memahami peraturan makanan tradisi bahawa chee cheong fun harus dihidang dalam keadaan kenyal. Itu makanan zaman mereka di saat kita lebih mengenali pizza dan kimchi. Kebetulan pula staf-staf yang menyediakan makanan di kedai tersebut terdiri daripada pekerja warga asing yang kelihatan seperti warga bangsa Arab atau Pakistan; hanya dua orang staf gadis yang berbangsa India dan Melayu bekerja sebagai pelayan untuk menghantar makanan. Jadi mungkin mereka sangka chee cheong fun memang dihidang dalam keadaan lembik.

Ayuni pun panggil salah seorang gadis pelayan dan memberitahu dia tentang aduan Mama. Gadis tu kata mereka akan gantikan dengan set yong tau foo baru. Kami pun tunggu. 

Tak lama kemudian gadis pelayan seorang lagi menghantar satu set yong tau foo dengan kuah sup tanpa berkata apa-apa. Kami rasa hairan sebab kenapa dia tak hantar set yang ada chee cheong fun. Mama kata mungkin sebab dia tak reti nak bagi chee cheong fun yang tak lembik jadi dia gantikan dengan set lain. Yong tau foo dengan kuah sup dia pun sedap, rasa macam makan oden.

Tengah sedap-sedap Mama makan set yong tau foo baru yang diganti, tiba-tiba staf bangsa Arab atau Pakistan tu keluar dari dapur dan menuju ke arah kami. Dia pandang ke arah Mama lalu bertanya, "Sorry, excuse me... is this the food you ordered?" 

Mama nampak keliru. Lepas tu staf tu pandang ke arah seorang perempuan Cina tua yang sedang duduk tak jauh daripada meja kami. Ayuni perasan perempuan tu tak dapat-dapat pesanan dia dari tadi. Masa tu otak Ayuni dah terdetik apa yang tak kena...

Staf tu panggil pelayan tadi. Dia tanya pelayan tu makanan tadi dihantar pada siapa. Gadis tu jawab dari jauh, "Already sent to the Chinese lady!"

"Which Chinese lady?" Staf tu tanya balik sambil mendepangkan tangannya ke arah Mama dan perempuan Cina tua tadi. 

Rasa macam nak tersembur air teh o ais yang dapat percuma sekali dengan set yong tau foo. Muka Mama dah lain.

Bila perempuan Cina tu tersedar makanan dia telah tersalah dihantar ke Mama, wajah dia berkerut lalu dia cepat-cepat pergi ke kaunter untuk memilih set menu dia semula. Staf tersebut mengejar dia sambil minta maaf banyak kali. 

Mama pula dah hilang selera sebab rasa bersalah sangat dan kasihan dengan perempuan Cina tadi. Terus dia ajak Ayuni keluar meninggalkan kedai dengan perasaan malu. Ayuni pula rasa tak tahan nak gelak sebab Mama disalah sangka sebagai Cina.

Walaupun mengalami pengalaman yang memalukan di Pulau Ketam Yong Tau Foo, tapi tak dapat dinafikan memang puas hatilah makan sebab yong tau foo dia memang sedap dan saiz set hidangan dia berbaloi dengan harga - satu set boleh dinikmati dua orang makan. Cuma itulah, mereka perlu jaga-jaga supaya chee cheong fun tak lembik.

Makanan di Pulau Ketam Yong Tau Foo berasaskan makanan vegetarian diperbuat daripada tauhu, sayuran dan bebola ikan oleh itu pelanggan tak kira bangsa dan agama semuanya boleh makan di sini. Kecuali bagi pelanggan yang ada alahan terhadap sayur, tauhu, fishcake, fishball dan gandum.

Harga makanan di Pulau Ketam Yong Tau Foo ni boleh tahan murahlah kalau dikira ikut harga KL. Menu dia terdiri daripada set 3-5 keping yong tau foo bermula dari harga RM8.50 dengan pilihan kuah sup, kari atau sos. Boleh pilih nak makan yong tau foo dengan mi, nasi atau chee cheong fun. Kalau beli set yang ada chee cheong fun baru boleh pilih kuah sos. Paling menarik set dia dapat sekali air teh o ais percuma... best kan? Nanti kalau datang ke sini lagi sekali Ayuni nak cuba yong tau foo dengan kuah kari pula.

Siapa yang berminat nak cuba yong tau foo bolehlah pergi ke lokasi tersebut: Nu Sentral (L5.13A & 15), Jalan 5/15, Kuala Lumpur Sentral, 46000 Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan Kuala Lumpur


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